Dating a man with two baby mamas
Knowing What You’re Getting Into Communicating with the Father from the Start of Your Relationship Dealing with the Mother Easing Yourself into the Child's Life Community Q&A You're dating a man and he has children.
These days it's becoming more and more common for someone to enter a relationship with children from a previous marriage.
But how do you deal with this situation when you don't have any children of your own?
After you reach a certain age, the odds of finding a man without kids is almost impossible. In our “anything goes” society, it is nothing to rack up multiple children with multiple partners. I remember in my early twenties saying “I’d never date a man with kids.” In my late twenties “As long as he just has one child, that’ll be okay.” In my thirties “If I can find a man with just one baby mama, that’ll be cool.” Several years ago, I had a coworker tell me and I remember it as if it were yesterday: “Never date a guy with kids because they are always still sleeping with the mother.” She was sleeping with the father of her kids, and neither of them considered it cheating because it didn’t mean anything to them. Now, I’d like to pause for a moment to say, I’m only giving the one side, because this article is dealing with what it is like to date the man, the “baby daddy” so to speak.
Obviously, I haven’t polled every man and every relationship, but I think we’ve all seen enough to know it’s no fun for anyone. Now, you’re probably wondering how their relationship could be too good.
The posts on facebook alone are enough to curl your hair. I didn’t think that was possible either until…If you’re dating a guy, and the child, the mother, and himself frequently go on outings like the movies, shopping, etc…is that really a “good” thing?
I have seen men become so angry just at the mention of the baby mama, that’s regardless of if she was the wife, a long term relationship, or just a casual one night stand. I want to say yes, because no matter what the child comes first, but you’re on the outside trying to establish a relationship with that man…how comfortable would you really be with that?
When she has the code to his home, you know in case she needs to get something for the child when he isn’t there (mmmhhhmmm)…is that okay?
When his family is inviting her on family vacations….where do you fit in?
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I had to ask myself those questions, and for me…No, I’m not okay with that.